some political bs

I'm frustrated with myself for being frustrated with people who have a different opinion than I do. It's just so irritating to think that someone with a different, and in fact opposite political view can think that way! Who gave them the right to think that way?

Most irritating statement I've heard today:

"I'm not going to see Farenheit 9/11 because Michael Moore is just too liberal for me."

Now that shouldn't irritate me, except that free speech and our right to think outside the government is hanging by a thread because Mr. Bush and his little monkey minions are running around making decisions that are in the best interest of everyone without even asking us what we want anymore!

Have you read the book 1984? Does it feel a little too familiar?

I want to ask my friend, "doesn't it piss you off that someone wants to limit what you can and can't see because of it's political content?"

But instead, I stammer something unintelligible because I simply can't believe he can't find any merit in going, or see why it might possibly be important.

God I piss myself off sometimes!

I swear I'm not even that far left. I was a vegetarian for a year in high school.. until I came back from a summer in the woods and ate a McDonald's cheeseburger. (and loved it.) I was a hippie in college for the drugs, and now am a moderate lefter, who always seems to just vote along the democratic line because it seems like the right thing to do.

Don't I just make my Mother and Father proud.

I guess that my point is just this: Striving for diversity and tolerence is good, but I'm just human.

And sometimes I want to punch a conservative right in the kisser.

Portland Spring

I wake up this morning and get dressed like it's going to be 90. again.

Guess what? It's not 90. It's freezing cold and looks like it could rain at any moment.

Side note: Sad gay man is walking by, not even wearing a coat with his hip muscle shirt and sandals. He's hard core.

So one of my coworkers is considering renting her heating pad to me for $5 an hour. I'm considering taking her up on it. It's almost lunchtime and if I'm not frozen all the way through by then, I may test my willpower at the Nordstrom half yearly sale. No. Never mind. I'm going to take my fat ass to the salad bar instead. Although Nordstrom's may give me a stronger desire to eat salad. Or it might make me eat a cheeseburger and a milkshake and a pizza. and ice cream. That's the thing about Nordstrom.

It's not even 11am and I'm thinking about lunch. Sad.

the yearly review

it's that time again. june, which marks the end of the non-profit fiscal year, also brings with it a special nugget of joy.

the yearly review

sweating. heart racing. the inner critic goes into high gear. the perfectionist becomes a broken quivering version of their usual confident self.

and then there's me.

for some reason, maybe you can all identify with this, the theatre person in me thrives on the criticism process. i can safely say that i am mostly aware of my strengths and weaknesses. really, i don't mind and actually sort of like reviews. maybe because i'm not an overachiever at all, but more of a slacker. ahem.

here's how it could work:

(we sit in an empty espresso bar at 3pm, wrapping up what has been a quiet hour of constructive criticism with fake fruity smelling markers listing off my "pluses & deltas" on big white pieces of paper. delta means change.

liz (my boss): so, sarah, what do you think?

sarah: i'm a good communicator, i get my work in on time, my donors love me, and i'm very reliable..

liz: yes, but do you think you could get to work on time once in awhile? and what about that giant pile of filing that you haven't done all year?

(i scoot back in my chair and slouch down. the squeal it makes alerts the espresso bar guys that i'm still there, and uncomfortable. or bored.)

sarah: i will strive to improve myself.

liz: sounds good, now go home early! and thanks for a great year! let's hug.

(we hug, and the guys at the espresso bar roll their eyes)

..see, that's the thing about non-profits. they are so damn pollyanna. i was just getting warmed up on my faults, that's just the tip of the iceburg. but no, i have to go home and drink beer at 4pm. non-profits are a cakewalk compared to my college theatre department.